"You never come back, not all the way. Always there is an odd distance between you and the people you love and the people you meet, a barrier thin as the glass of a mirror, you never come all the way out of the mirror; you stand, for the rest of your life, with one foot in this world and one in another, where everything is upside down and backward and sad."
— Marya Hornbacher (Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia)

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Relapse?

I hate myself.  I'm fat, horribly fat.  I wight 103 again and I haven't worked out in a week or more.  I eat and I shouldn't.  I can see the fat everywhere.  It's EVERYWHERE.  So much too much everywhere.  If getting better means getting fat forget it.  I wasn't even trying to get better, just got distracted and lazy I guess and here I am so fucking fat!  I hate me.  I hate my body.  And fuck this.  I will get thinner soon. 
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