My original blog which I still love and write on is no longer safe for all my honest thoughts. I guess it really never was. I started writing it when I was in treatment last for my ED and after much pushing from my team, I shared it with many of my closest friends. And there in lies the problem. If I'm too honest, they get freaked out. I cannot handle one more person worrying about me or treating my like I'm broken. Especially when I don't believe there is anything wrong with me.
I will continue to write on the other because there are many things I don't mind sharing with everyone.
http://lifeinthenetherworld.blogspot.com
I made a new facebook page recently under the same identity that I write my blogs. All my friends on it struggle with/embrace ED. I know that my friends and family would be incredibly upset, hurt, and disheartened to know that I did this. They will never understand so many things about me. I need to know that I am not alone. I need to know that the way I think is actually pretty common. I need to lose weight to stay sane and I need inspiration. I've always relied on literature for this, but real people are so much better.
The simple truth is that I don't think the way I live is wrong and I never have despite what I might say to make 'things' better. I don't like the purging, but it's a necessary evil at times of weakness so I won't give it up for good. And I just will never eat the way a dietician expects me to.
I'm at 104 today and I ate almost 500 calories which was 100 more than I was suppose to. I started the ABC diet this week. It is a lot harder than I thought it would be. It would be pretty easy if I didn't work or have a soial life. This first 50 day period I'm going to do the best I can to follow it. The second time around I know it will be easier. I'm just got to drop the weight I've gained.
104 lbs
21% BF
5' 0"
Goal= 95 within a month
I will continue to write on the other because there are many things I don't mind sharing with everyone.
http://lifeinthenetherworld.blogspot.com
I made a new facebook page recently under the same identity that I write my blogs. All my friends on it struggle with/embrace ED. I know that my friends and family would be incredibly upset, hurt, and disheartened to know that I did this. They will never understand so many things about me. I need to know that I am not alone. I need to know that the way I think is actually pretty common. I need to lose weight to stay sane and I need inspiration. I've always relied on literature for this, but real people are so much better.
The simple truth is that I don't think the way I live is wrong and I never have despite what I might say to make 'things' better. I don't like the purging, but it's a necessary evil at times of weakness so I won't give it up for good. And I just will never eat the way a dietician expects me to.
I'm at 104 today and I ate almost 500 calories which was 100 more than I was suppose to. I started the ABC diet this week. It is a lot harder than I thought it would be. It would be pretty easy if I didn't work or have a soial life. This first 50 day period I'm going to do the best I can to follow it. The second time around I know it will be easier. I'm just got to drop the weight I've gained.
104 lbs
21% BF
5' 0"
Goal= 95 within a month
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