I made it through the weekend with only a couple purges. I didn't give in at all Friday when we all got together. I ate some brisket (solo) Saturday to not be rude to B's parents and that was it. Today was mother's day though so I had a lot of BBQ with the fam. They get ultra weird if I don't eat a good amount.
This always makes me laugh though. I mean they all know that I have had a major purging disorder for over ten years now. They know that I am also restricting a lot because I need to lose weight and so that I don't purge. Yet I go over on days like today and it's uncomfortable for everyone if I only eat a little. I know they all know that I'm just going to puke it all up if I eat it. Why can't people understand that not eating is the better solution a lot of the time. I'm not 80 lbs so I'm not anywhere near unhealthy skinny. You'd really rather I vomit to the point of dizziness and possible passing out than just pass up on the huge helping of food? It just doesn't make sense to me.
Blah, so I went from 103 Saturday to 105 today. I think it might be about time to start which would explain why it's so hard to lose right now. I've got to lose though this week. I'm going up to see family and I'm only a few pounds lighter than I was at Christmas. I wonder how many I can lose this week? I lost 3 last week.
ABC diet is not going so well. I can't wait for summer when work isn't so much of an obstacle. I just HAVE to lose ten pounds. It's all on my but and hips. It just won't go away. My rib cage and col. bones stick out and if you only looked there you'd think I was crazy for wanting to lose more weight. It doesn't match with my ass though. My arms are getting a little better, but I just wish I lost weight proportionally.
This always makes me laugh though. I mean they all know that I have had a major purging disorder for over ten years now. They know that I am also restricting a lot because I need to lose weight and so that I don't purge. Yet I go over on days like today and it's uncomfortable for everyone if I only eat a little. I know they all know that I'm just going to puke it all up if I eat it. Why can't people understand that not eating is the better solution a lot of the time. I'm not 80 lbs so I'm not anywhere near unhealthy skinny. You'd really rather I vomit to the point of dizziness and possible passing out than just pass up on the huge helping of food? It just doesn't make sense to me.
Blah, so I went from 103 Saturday to 105 today. I think it might be about time to start which would explain why it's so hard to lose right now. I've got to lose though this week. I'm going up to see family and I'm only a few pounds lighter than I was at Christmas. I wonder how many I can lose this week? I lost 3 last week.
ABC diet is not going so well. I can't wait for summer when work isn't so much of an obstacle. I just HAVE to lose ten pounds. It's all on my but and hips. It just won't go away. My rib cage and col. bones stick out and if you only looked there you'd think I was crazy for wanting to lose more weight. It doesn't match with my ass though. My arms are getting a little better, but I just wish I lost weight proportionally.
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